Rule 14 covers ‘Courting’ in the pub arena, how to behave if the opportunity to ‘get off’ with someone arises at your local. Subsection 14.3 deals with ‘Petting’ and is discussed below. 14.3 Petting Copping off with someone in your local pub probably sounds like it would make for a memorable evening and, for…
Author: Stig of the Pub
N0. 4 – Susanna Hoffs
Doc: Well your test results are back Ms Hoffs, SH: Do you feel the same? Doc: Eh what? no, SH: Am I only dreaming? Doc: Er, no, no, I’m afraid not, SH: Is this burning an eternal flame? Doc: No, it’s definitely cystitis.
No.3 – Men At Work
Doc: So you say you picked up a stomach bug at a music festival? MaW: Where beer does flow and men chunder, Doc: Giving you chronic flatulence, MaW: Can’t you hear, can’t you hear that thunder? Doc: And explosive diarrhoea, MaW: You better run you better take cover. Doc: Thank God for wipe-clean vinyl upholstery.
No.2 – George Michael
Doc: You say you’ve had this problem for a while? GM: Time can never mend, Doc: Good Lord, How on Earth did you manage to get a chocolate bar wedged up there? GM: The careless Whispa of a good friend. Doc: Fair enough.
No.1 – Tony Hadley
TH: With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue.. Doc: So you’re taking the meds, TH: Dissolve the nerves that have just begun.. Doc: Well I can’t see why you’re not sleeping then, TH: Listening to Marvin all night long Doc: Ah
What Constitutes a Proper Pub
This is the first ‘Rule’ that appears in Pub Rules of the Eighties; Rule 1: What Constitutes a Proper Pub? There are two kinds of pub in the world, Proper Pubs and Not Proper Pubs. You should always endeavour to sup at Proper Pubs, for these are the birthright of every true Briton and, much…