From the pulling of a cracker to the fairy on the top of the tree we all enjoy those little Christmas traditions, but do you know where they all come from? The origins of some traditions may well surprise you!
- Brussel Sprouts
It may not shock you to find that Brussels Sprouts are not meant for human consumption they are, after all, absolutely disgusting. However did you know they were originally developed for chemical warfare? That’s right, during the Dark Ages, around the sixth century, King Erik Elkspole of the Vikings was laying siege to the town of Brussels. He wasn’t having much luck when he hit on the idea of flinging large quantities of ‘Schitzkraut’ (a foul-smelling weed) into the town via catapult. The local animal population would eat these ‘sprouts’ and in turn produce violently toxic flatulence. Within days the sickened residents of Brussels had surrendered. Today we remember the suffering of the burghers of Brussels by the burning and disposal of the noxious sprout every Christmas.
- Mistletoe
Many years ago ‘Meeting under the Mistletoe’ meant something very different to today. Amongst the assassin clans of central Asia the ‘Mistle’ was a vicious bronze axe used for the purpose of bloody murder! The ‘toe’ of the axe was a metal point, opposite the blade, that could be violently smashed from above into the skull of the intended victim. The assassin in question would then report back that his target had met their grisly end ‘Under the Mistle Toe.’ Of course nowadays it simply means getting a free snog adjacent to a bit of twig.
- Myrrh
Now here’s an interesting one, Myrrh isn’t a thing! It doesn’t actually exist! I mean, look at the spelling for a start, it’s rubbish! ‘Myrrh’ was simply a nonsense word made up by biblical scholars who were unable to translate the alleged third gift given to Jesus at the Nativity. Subsequent breakthroughs in language science have since revealed that the actual three gifts were in fact Gold, Frankincense and a set of tea towels!
- Mince Pies
These delicious festive confections are not actually ‘Mince’ at all, they are from Minsk. That’s right, they’re Minsk Pies! The Belarus capital ships thousands of tons of these treats around the world every December and is responsible for about two-thirds of the total global production. Due to the strained political relations between East and West during the Cold War the pronunciation was subtly changed by the Ministry of Home Economics in 1965 and we’ve been calling them ‘Mince’ pies ever since. Didn’t stop them crossing the Iron Curtin though, thanks comrade!
- Jack Frost
Did you know that Jack Frost was a real person? He was originally a notorious pirate of the Spanish Main and a contemporary of the likes of Bluebeard, Blackbeard and all the other coloured beards. He had nothing to do with the weather phenomena at all until the mid-nineteenth century when, according to the story, one winter’s morn Queen Victoria was walking in the gardens of Windsor Castle. On coming across a particularly impressive patch of frozen dew she asked of the then Prime Minister Lord Melbourne, ‘What’s that stuff Bill?’ Melbourne himself was unsure but, being an accomplished bullshitter (as all politicians are), just made something up on the spot. Having been recently reading a ‘Penny Awful’ about the ‘Depraved Pirate Jack Frost’, he simply purloined the name in the hope that Vicky would be none the wiser. It is said that for the remainder of her life Victoria was blissfully unaware that she’d apparently been claiming a ‘renowned shagger of the Caribbean’ had been making interesting white patterns on her windows.
